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03-Jun-2015 13:30

Nothing about it was sexy.” Positive Singles markets itself as an open forum for dating, but in practice can feel more like a cliquey support group.

More troublingly, the sites seemed less likely to unite people with STIs than to divide them into cliques.

And since these sites’ only criterion for joining was an STI diagnosis, members didn’t really have that much in common aside from their diagnosis, which many seemed obsessed by.

Ellie noted that “it was more of a group therapy site than a dating site.

As Ellie explained, “There was this shitty STD hierarchy,” which ranked curable STIs above herpes, and HSV-1 (formerly known as “oral herpes”) above HSV-2 (formerly known as “genital herpes”), both of which were considered “better” than HIV.

“I just felt like it was used to make people who felt bad about their illness feel better by putting other people down.” Ellie’s not alone in her assessment of STI dating sites as a barren, depressing wasteland.

I'm happy with my life right now but I just feel like something is missing and I would like to find a guy friend to share things with.

I could say that I have a pretty good personality (they say). Gosh well, I don't like to talk about myself, it's weird and often self-depreciating.

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But despite the promise of community and support, she found that STI-focused dating sites just made her feel worse.“It felt like a dating site for pariahs,” she noted—and one with bad design, shitty UI, and and very few members, many of whom are too ashamed of their diagnosis to actually post a picture on their profile.

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