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But this turns to horror when I start getting pics of him and his naughty bi-curious threesome-seeking friend who, let’s face it, is probably his unwitting wife. Then there is dark horse, who suggests popping over for a glass of wine as he “wants to meet right now” and tells me to “do what I’m told, young lady”.I added a picture of myself from three years ago and a sassy profile borrowed from everyone’s favourite singleton Bridget Jones: “No alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobic chauvinists, freeloaders or perverts.” I’m ready to find love… For any average-looking person with a job and a life, it is hard finding someone nice and normal. Nipping to the kitchen for tea and toast, I return to my i Phone, which is flooded with messages from evensteven789 asking where I went, who I’m with and why don’t I like him any more? My heart skips a beat when I spot tall, dark and handsome cuteguy747. 8pm: It seems the modern man does not always enjoy a female lioness and after deciding is addictive, I log out. IT'S not long, though, before my phone starts bleeping wildly as the fishermen on Po F try to hook an unsuspecting new catch. But Po F will keep you hooked, thanks to the messages from topless but incredibly ripped men, many of whom are teenagers.But if there is a team of Match cupids in an office doing all the heavy lifting for us, I ask myself, why not? But some of the opening remarks – “What’s your bra size? I quickly add him as a favourite and click the “wink” button, sending him a flirty signal that I’d like to chat. But hey, they chose to swim in the 28-year-old pool.After a brief description of how I could snare a naked, foot-worshipping house-husband in an apron, I decide it’s time to be the dominant female he craves – and bid him farewell.Then I hear from Gavnnn87, who is a whole 12 months younger than me and wondering how I’d feel about a toyboy.But after his first awkward hello, it seems young Gavnnn87 isn’t shy at all. A selection of photos of men pop up, conveyor style, and it all becomes like the children’s game Guess Who?Politely declining his offer of “making love” or being “friends with benefits,” I decide I already have enough friends. where you flick down faces in your search for “the one”.Hoping the quick but brutal “right for yes” or “left for no” method on Tinder may throw up something or someone of interest, I begin my search for love within the 27-33 age bracket for singles.
Amid the murky pool of messages, Rossieglasgow is straight up in telling me he is not looking for any commitment but someone foxy to have hot fun with. Having advertised as some sort of online dating virgin, I thought I’d perhaps be eased in gently but wolfofsesamestreet56 decides otherwise and begins by introducing himself as a submissive and asks if I’d consider taking a sex slave.Naturally, almost a glass of vino down, I’m intrigued, although perhaps already swimming in the deep end.