Simple dating profile

08-Oct-2016 06:15

My job was to log into a guy’s online dating profile and send messages to girls I thought he would find attractive.

I basically got paid to start conversations for him.

If I were a guy, I’d want to start conversations with all of you about as badly as I want to listen to Gilbert Gottfried sing “Le Nozze di Figaro” eight times in a row while being water-boarded by Osama Bin Laden’s rotting zombie corpse.

It’s totally illogical, not to mention unfair, hypocritical and somewhere along the lines of a double standard, for you to expect guys to flood your in-boxes with “interesting conversation” when your profiles are excruciatingly boring. I can’t live without my family, my friends, music, books, coffee or my phone, and I love to eat!

Let them take for granted that you’re a decent, sane human being and move on to what makes you .It can be as easily taken for granted as your love for your family. And by the way, if you live in Portland, Oregon, and your dating profile says you like coffee, you should be deleted, not just from Plenty of Fish or Ok Cupid, but from the planet, because you are the least creative person in the universe.