Updating to word 2016
Speaking of hipsters, Quilted Northern has not introduced “artisanal toilet paper” made from tree bark. Google Maps’ disco-dancing pegman is here for one day only. Ansell Condoms has not started a recycling program. Goodreads is not launching a literary magazine called “Lit! Hooters has not bought a private island on which its customers can objectify women in solitude. ) has not switched to a gross 1940s menu in its cafe. Edible Arrangements is not launching a ,000 gold-plated fruit bouquet.
Home and design site Houzz has not developed the world’s first line of “interactive” furniture. T-Mobile isn’t releasing a headset that will let you watch videos literally all the time. Duolingo has not invented a pillow that will teach you a language overnight. The Smithsonian American History Museum (can we consider this a brand?
This hotel chain didn’t launch a hotel room-sharing app.
Pet brand Bags on Board has not debuted an “autonomous pet waste pickup robot.” 36. Kars4Kids, a car-donation charity that benefits youth, will not trade you a child in exchange for your used vehicle. Uncle Bob’s Storage has not created a special storage room for you to take selfies in. An online e-cigarette vendor has not developed a tongue ring you can vape with. Tumblr’s lizard election is (er, obviously) a joke. Edutech company Chegg is not introducing puppy tutors, although TBH somebody should. A British window-dressing company will not sell you a skirt made from literal blinds. Yeti Coolers is not selling “melk” — a.k.a., elk milk — and it was not the key to Jordan Shipley’s athletic success. You cannot book a flight on Hipster Air, though its quinoa salads look delicious. Showerhead manufacturer Waterpik isn’t introducing a belt that holds your shampoo (?!
Today is April 1, i.e., April Fools’ Day, i.e., the worst day of the entire year for anyone trying to cover news on the Internet. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ [April Fools’ Day is a garbage holiday.
This year, as has happened before and will happen again, an overwhelming number of hoaxes, jokes and pranks escape onto the Web, using the cover of the terrible holiday to try to win a little bit of attention for their creators.
Sure, there are some April Fools’ pranks that are good. To illustrate this, we are collecting as comprehensive a list as we can of all the hoaxes from 2016’s April Fools’ Day.
[Thirsty brands have officially and irreversibly ruined April Fools’ Day] We’ve placed an angry person flipping a table ( (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻) next to all of the cheating, shameful pranks that launched April 1.
Esurance will not sell you “election insurance” in case you decide to leave the country after the elections. Just probably don’t trust any of your “friends” who offer to pick you up in a Lyft. An obscure mattress company is not selling a “flower bed” that grows implanted seeds. A call center employee will not narrate movies to you if you’re running late to the theater. An online art store did not surface a long-lost interview with Pablo Picasso. A men’s subscription service is not genetically resurrecting extinct animal species in order to make jerky from them. The HR software start-up Gusto isn’t going to start supporting benefits for dogs. i Robot and Zumba are not partnering on a Roomba that will play you dance music while it works.